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Egyptians? What if I marry him? Female circumcision required? |
Travel Info Some of you may have seen my previous questions about 'dating' an Egyptian guy... If we marry, as we have been discussing, is he or his family going to pressure me to have the female circumcision? Is this a tradition in all of Egypt? (He is from Alexandria.) Someone brought this point up to me and I plan to discuss it with him at some point. But in general do most women in Egypt undergo this procedure? Is it a pressure from the society? What if you don't do it? Most everyone that I have talked to and what I have read says yes, it is a tradition and required. For those of you that actually live in Egypt is this true? I have heard a lot of horror stories about this, and would not agree to having this done, I actually completely disagree with the practice and think it is wrong. Travel Tips First of all, I want to make it clear that female circumcision has nothing whatsoever to do with Islam. It is an ancient tradition that is rare nowadays and has survived mainly in rural areas among the lower social classes suffering from poverty and illiteracy. I happen to be a devout Muslim, and I think that this habit is monstrous and disgusting. I'd never do it to my own daughter, nor do I know anyone who has. It is not that common anymore due to the recent awareness spread through the media during the past few years, so you really have nothing to worry about. Particularly because you are not Egyptian, they most likely would not expect this of you, even if they do believe in this practice. The best thing is to get any concerns you have off your mind by having an honest and open talk with your husband to be before you take any further steps in your relationship. Any concerns about cultural differences, or anything else for that matter, should be addressed now rather than later to avoid any future problems. Good luck. Others I think I've answered you one other time. Run away.....run far far away....don't ever come back. If you like sex, you'll hate it after they mutilate you. You'll never like it again. Please get smart and date someone of this country. You'll regret this big time. Don't have kids. The minute you do, he'll take them to Egypt and you'll never see them again. He's just biding his time.....so RUN Hi! I presume you live in the USA, so I can understand that you have heard lots of horror stories about this. Yes, this procedure is practiced in some areas, NO, there is NO reason for you to worry about such a thing. I麓m sure you麓ll get lots of answers telling you all about this old (and wrong) tradition, but just let me say that it has nothing to do with Islam, and as far as I know it is not accepted by those who are at all educated/modern/...call it what you want. In the extremely unlikely case that your future in-laws may normally accept something like this, they would most certainly not expect it from you. You are an "outsider" for them, not at all in a bad sense, it just means that they will not have the same expectations of you as they would have of an Egyptian girl. I am also in a mixed marriage, and so trust me, this "double-standard" is very often a GOOD THING. Mainly because no matter how hard we try, we could never really be like someone of that culture (behaviour, humour,... and even being able to cook well... really). I just read the first answer. Forget him. The comments about "he麓ll just take your kids and run" are totally racist. But if you go for this marriage, or even continue seeing him, you麓ll have to get used to this kind of answer, from all those around you. Once you are serious about marrying someone from the Middle East, others will think it is their business to tell you how crazy you are, that they all want to supress and control women, and then they will say "don麓t you know the story, "NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER"???!!!!!". Even my mother had to defend my future husband (he is Turkish) at her workplace. Back to this topic (sorry....): What I will say is that I do know a number of mixed marriages in which a German or N. American lady has married an Egyptian man, and are living outside of Egypt. As in any marriages in the world, some of them work, some don麓t. But I don麓t know of ANYONE who has ever mentioned this circumcision. Please don麓t worry about this. Concentrate on the important stuff ..... HIS CHARACTER!!!! I wish you all the best. Take care!! this is your own decision that no one can pressure you to go under surgery for just a tradition. it is unusual for someone to go through that surgery in the modern days (at least not willingly) . they used to perform it in the old ages (and may be now in the rural areas) on newly born girls, to limit there sexual desire and prevent them from falling in the sin of having premarital sex. as a final thought, if the man you are planning to marry is going to ask you to go for unnecessary surgery, i think you might need to reconsider your priorities in life. sex is good and there is nothing wrong in enjoying it. good luck born and raised in the arabic world where tradition like that used to exist I'm from Alexandria, my parents from rural areas ... country side! None of my sisters has undergone this operation. I can guarantee you that your worries went too far for some reasons. 1- This operation is not widely practiced in Egypt, but in other countries like Sudan and some African countries. The media kept speaking about Egypt because they first heard about it here, during the International Conference of Health and Population under UN supervision. 2- This operation when it's done, it's done for so young girls not for adult girls. 3- It's a personal and a logic question, How the family of your boyfriend will force you to undergo this operation? Totally depends on him, I don't think he would love you to be circumcised, there is a wide awareness now about how badly it affects the sexual pleasure. Finally: Alexandria is a cosmopolitan type city, poeple here are open-minded and always welcome foreigners among them. Don't be afraid of coming here. You'll discover a new world, and you still have the complete right to reject it if you didn't like it. Talk with him, he will surprise you with a good answer, I guarantee you this! Good luck and happiness! Any one told you it's may be done for a grown up female or that you have to think about that before marriage, he is an ignorant person or hates Egypt. It's not from religion, it's not legal, it's for young females (less than 10 or 8 years), it's used in the villages and less cultured people as it's an old tradition. You can check this with you BF very easy. Ask him what he may do in that topic if you'll have a female kid in the future. Don't listen to haters .. Good luck |
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