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| *Travel Tips>>>General - Africa & Middle East Travel Tips |
How do I deal with my Persian bf's friends and family? |
Travel Info curious because he and i had a fight last night about meeting his friends. he finally told me the issue wasnt because he didnt want to meet them but that becuase they had an issue with me being part black and older. with his parents the issue was the same. that me also being european they would have liked greatly but if he had to date someone of another race they would only accept a blue-eyed american blonde. i know his friends are extremely important to him so this poses a bit of an issue for me. i also place my friends high on my priority list although he did mention more than once that he wants to hang out with them. Travel Tips When I was younger, I had dated a great guy who was half African American and half Korean. Now, my mom had a BIG problem with anyone who was Asian. My mom used to make all sorts of racist jokes about Asians whenever I was around. Now mind you, I was only 18 at the time, and I was totally dependent on my parents. I lived in their house and was going to college and working part time. Yet I felt it was pretty crappy of my mom to keep making degrading remarks about my boyfriend's race like that. So I got up the nerve and told my mother that I loved my boyfriend, and that if she couldn't accept his race, then she couldn't accept me either. I also told her how important it was to me that she stop making the racist jokes. She saw how serious I was and immediately stopped making jokes about Asians. The funny thing is, about a year after he and I broke up, my mom said that he was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I should have never broken up with him! LOL If you and your boyfriend are truly serious about each other (as in are talking about having a future together, whether it is living together or getting married) then you two totally have to work this out, and work this out NOW. Your boyfriend is going to have to explain to his parents that you are in his life and they are going to have to deal with it. If you and your boyfriend are just casually dating, then I really wouldn't make it an issue (trust me, meeting your boyfriend's parents and vice versa is NO FUN whatsoever! LOL). But if you are in a serious relationship, you have to think about the future: what if you two have kids? What if you get married? These are definitely things to think about. Funny his parents would want him to marry a "blue eyed american blonde". Stereotypically the parents of that blue eyed American blonde would NOT want their daughter to marry anyone of the Arab persuasion! LOL So they should think about that....... Others You two should decide on who is the most important persons in your lives. of course,he will say that his family but when it comes to relationship,your family should support you but not put you in a tight corner to make you choose b/n them and your partner. To you also; if your friends are more important to you than him,then let him go. It is difficult for people to accept people from other races usually who they fall into an evil stereotype. You don't have to make it hard for him especially when you are also at fault for putting your friends before him. Well in Islam a man really can't show his wife to his friends as the friends might do something bad with the wife if he leaves the wife with the friends. He's most likely Muslim since he's from Iran. I don't think the issue has to do with you being part black. It has to do with Islamic culture and that it's important for a woman not to be seen by her husband's friends and really if this Iranian is Muslim then he isn't supposed to be dating as it against Islam. He is sinning by having a girlfriend. As for the parents not liking you just ask them why they don't like you. Maybe they don't like how you dress or think you may use their son and ruin their family name. Definitely out to lunch on this one. If your boyfriend is Persian you better get ready for the culture, customs and protocols. You will be living for their family, not your own. You will be subserviant to the man and his family in all issues. Read up on his culture, www.travel.yahoo.com should help. Also, get ready to submit a hefty dowrey on this one. |
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