Russian Adoption?

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How do Russians feel about the vast numbers of Russian-speaking children being adopted abroad?

Do you see a better solution to the orphan issue?

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Most people don't like it, but primarily because they don't like adoption, period -- not so much because they perceive adoptions by foreigners as predatory, etc. Russia's own adoption patters should give you a clue as to how foreign adoptions are viewed.

Russian culture treats adoption very differently than does the American culture. Adoptions in Russia are extremely rare, and most of them are of orphaned relatives or children of close friends. To adopt a completely unrelated child of strangers is virtually unheard of, and even when it happens, it is done only as the absolute last resort by people who are childless and irreversibly infertile. I would be safe in saying that couples who already have biological children NEVER adopt -- except, as I mentioned, in rare circumstances when they find a relative or a child of close friends tragically orphaned. (The common practice among Americans to adopt children in addition to their own, biological offspring is utterly mystifying to the Russian mind.) Provided that the child is adopted at a young enough age, the fact of the adoption is carefully concealed from him -- and I mean, forever. The practice of keeping the adoption a secret is maintained even though adopted children almost always learn the truth as adults (suddenly and inadvertently), and are deeply scarred by the discovery. A child known to have been adopted (even by friends or relatives) inevitably falls victim to ostracism and ridicule at school.

In Russia, adoption carries a deep stigma, both for the parent and the child. This stands in stark contrast to American attitudes, where adoption is held to be a testament to parental love, humanity, and a desire to accept a deprived child into a loving family. In Russia, adoption is thought to mark, in most cases, a couple's shame for failure to have biological children -- meaning that there is something wrong with them physically, or (given the high degree of superstitiousness in Russian culture) that they don't deserve to be parents and are making an underhanded attempt to circumvent cosmic justice. Alternatively (and this is how many Russians view Western couples come to adopt in Russia) the desire to adopt is seen as a product of sybaritic boredom and extravagance. Whether true or false (and in fact, it is certainly false in the overwhelming majority of cases) this is the perception.

Adopted children, for their own part, are stigmatized as unwanted by their natural parents. It is believed that they are invariably children of alcoholics, thugs, and prostitutes. This is reinforced by Russia's more conservative, gender-differenced and appearance-driven culture, which is quite accepting of pre-marital sex and even promiscuity, but is absolutely intolerant of non-marital pregnancy; any girl or woman dumb, naive, or careless enough to get pregnant out of wedlock is deemed a whore. Again, whether true or not, this is the perception. Any parentless children who were not born to society's rejects are believed to be sick or defective in some way.

Russians, to a much greater extent than Americans, are big believers in karma and heredity. In Russia, it IS natural law that the sins of the father are visited upon the sons, and that children are liable for the misdeeds of their parents merely by virtue of their pedigree. It is believed that, regardless of how children of "thugs and whores" are raised, they will grow up to be thugs and whores themselves and, unless stopped, will go on to make more thugs and whores. This, I believe, is the root of Russians' hostility towards Westerners (most notably Americans) who come to Russia to adopt. I have asked numerous Russians who voiced these sentiments to explain why they believe adoption is wrong, and they are never able to formalize their reasons, muttering instead something about "vanity", "not having enough to do", and even that adoption is simply immoral. From what I can deduce, however, Russians are suspicious of adoption because they see it as an act of deception -- taking a "bad egg", a child of a criminal and a loose woman -- and then dressing him up and passing him off as genuine goods upon the honest world, and giving him tools, as a grown up, to function in it; in effect, giving legitimacy to those who do not deserve it.

Orphaned children are truly the most put-upon members of the Russian society. State orphanages are hideously corrupt even by Russian standards, and no one cares, because the victims are thought by most to be undeserving of any sympathy. (The outcry over one American couple's mistreatment of their adopted child had more to do with the fact that the couple was American, than with the fact that the child was being abused.) People put in charge of these children steal from them with impunity. To say that orphanage inmates are physically, sexually, and emotionally abused would be a gross understatement. I read recently (though I no longer have the citation) that the suicide rate among adults who grew up in Russian orphanages pushes 25%.

In support of their belief that orphaned children are "bad eggs", Russians often cite their tendency in adulthood towards crime, prostitution, alcoholism, and other forms of dissolute lifestyle. What most fail to realize, regrettably, is that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and that this tendency has a lot more to do with the brutal and inhumane way in which these people are treated as children, than with their parents' background.

Adoption of Russian children by Westerners is very commendable; the alternative for these children is a life of horror. It would be very difficult, however, to get Russian people to adopt -- in my opinion, that would require a radical change in core cultural norms, which is almost impossible to accomplish.

Edited to answer the poster below: No, AP, I did not conduct a survey. However, I am Russian by birth; I grew up in Russia; I live in the part of the United States that is home to the largest Russian-speaking community outside of the former Soviet Union; and I am fluent in Russian and thus have broad access to Russian-language media, blogs, forums, and books, as well as extensive contact with people who still live in Russia. I have known people in Russia who learned that they were adopted, and knew parents who had adopted. Based on my experiences in the Russian culture, it is my opinion that adoption is viewed with extreme disfavor. Paying people to have their own children is one thing, and quite understandable, given the fact that Russia's population is crashing and its abortion rate exceeds its birthrate -- but I do not see how this premise supports your conclusion that children, including adopted children, are particularly important in Russian culture, or that the reasons for its declining birthrate are purely economical. Children in Russia are no more important than anywhere else (that is to say, there is no SPECIAL emphasis on parenthood) -- and orphans are seen as having no value at all (again, my own perceptions). I too like to see numbers, but statistics can be overinterpreted, nor can they describe the entirety of a society's condition. Note that some of the things I've discussed in my post cannot even be quantified. So, yes, my comment is subjective, and I will understand if you are reluctant to take me at my word -- but based on my observations (which, I believe, would be more extensive than those of a foreign researcher armed with a generic questionnaire and only a passing familiarity with local culture), I stand by every statement I've made.
Others

In my opinion, everything is good if children are happy! I know that many kids won't ever get a good stable life in Russian orphanages - these are nothing if to compare with a loving family, where mother and father and even bros and sis. All kids wish to have a family and their own corner.

What are the solutions?
- well this question is difficult for many people, because till now there is no other solution. But options are alwasy there, first of all we need to develop the home-nursing system in Russia - that is workable in many other countries - and open new centers, which will be looking for the families, who want to take the responcibilities for a baby.

I never divide countries and people all over the globe, coz we are all the same and want the absolutely same things for us and our children. I don't see, that there is a huge problem that many Russian children go abroad and start their new lives over there. It will continue, untill the Government will improve its own system and develop new ideas for this kind of children, when it will start helping disabled kids and make them feel essential for the country, make them feel as a one whole with others.

Thanks for a question, i think people should discuss these problems much more often.

Best of luck!
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They hate it.
I heard mention that Russia is trying to enact legislation to pay couples to have children. Upon the first birthday of the child the mother will receive payment in some form. Is this not - in part - to alleviate the cost of raising children as well as alleviating the amount of children who get forced into orphanages?

If this is still true - and as of July 2006 it was - then it seems to show that Russians truly believe that it's a tragedy to lose so many children to the state systems and other countries. I do not know the stigmas associated with it however, at least as a country, they understand the importance of children and are trying to rectify current economical situations that may hinder families from having children.

The above listing was quite moving and a very interesting read but I am not positive exactly how accurate it is. it sounds like one person's take on the entire country. Was there surveys that backs this up? How far-reaching was the questioning? Was it in a select area of a small town where most people have the same views or was it a large nation wide survey? Was this done by one person who wanted to ask her friends and relatives about Russian adoption practices or was this done by a group of people trying to determine a sociological idea?
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/progdesc/...