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So van finds a magic lamp?

Travel Info
and rubs it. the genie says he only gets one wish, so van wishes for a highway from his house in brakpan, to hawaii.

"that's a whole lot of planning and logistics van. the raw material alone will exhaust most of the worlds concrete resources."

van thinks. "ok, then i wish i could understand women."

the genie looks at van and asks, "do you want two lanes or three on this highway?"

Travel Tips

I麓ll see your Van joke and raise you another:

Van in Paris:
Van goes to the top house of ill repute in Paris.
He goes up to the Madam and asks,.. "I want your best girl !!".
The Madam then calls her top girl, and the two of them go upstairs.
Two minutes later the girl comes down the stairs screaming,
"Nevair ! nevair ! 'ow can you ask me zat ?"
The Madam is absolutely astounded, as that this has never
happened before, but never the less she sends up her second best girl.
Two minutes later the girl also comes down the stairs screaming, "Nevair ! nevair ! 'ow can you ask me zat ?"
The Madam is now intensely curious, since she has experienced everything and is totally unshockable, she then decides that SHE must go upstairs and service this client herself.
Two minutes later the Madam also comes down the stairs
screaming, "Nevair ! nevair ! 'ow can you ask me zat ?"
Some guys sitting at the bar and ask her what the hell was going on.
She replies, " 'e vants to pay me in Rands !!!"
Others

So, what's the point in it, Van Damme?
ha ha ......

good one thanx for the laugh
How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined!
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52.. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

Not rocket science neh!!!

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
you can try how hard you will never understand us......
Good one, sadly it is true, the mind of the evil beast is not for us to fathom.
Silly genie!
If van wanted to understand a woman why not just turn him into one?

Granted it may have made his homelife a lot more...interesting but lets not fuss with the details.