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What is the REAL reason for people to?

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cry when their loved ones have passed on? Do we cry for them or ourselves? If it's for the departed, why and do they hear our cries, and how would they react if they knew that we were crying for them? If it's for ourselves, isn't that selfishness? What if the deceased wanted to die? Aren't our cries misplaced?

PS. I used the collective "we" and it's variables for convenience. It's not meant to imply that everybody does.

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Zim, I have read through all these answers and I have sat thinking about why I cried when I lost someone close and I have come to the conclusion that it is right to cry, it releases all the tension that had built up over the angst and because I had tried to be strong for so long and finally I cried.

And that was the beginning of the healing for me. I started to accept the passing and could move on with my life.

So whether it is for the departed or for yourself - its good to release the tension and crying is a very effective way to do that.
Others

Crying is a Normal and Human response to Pain or in some cases happiness. We cry for Our Loved Ones whom pass on in death, because we will miss them.
In my own case, I cry for not being able to see the person for a VERY long time. (Which is selfish).

I believe that death opens the opportunity to enlightenment, so most who die are better off than they were before.
I've had some experience in letting go of close family members over the last year. The end of a good relationship or friendship is always hard and saying goodbye permanently is a traumatic experience. It leaves an empty space in your heart. Perhaps the crying is more for yourself than the deceased, but I don't think it's selfish to be sad, for me the crying was the first part of preparing me for the change of continuing life without them.

*Edit*

Ayiza, my father cried at his mother's grave, if you knew him you would know that there is not one pathetic bone in his body. You are either heartless or have never suffered the loss of a close family member.
Selfish
Its fashionable if the widow does not cry then people start running their mouths.
Some people cry because everyone else is crying.

But people a grown man crying is then most pathetic thing in this planet.
While I was abroad, my grandfather, whom I loved very much, got very ill. I prayed for him to get released from his pain, because he wasn't somebody who depended on others. Early the following morning he died and I didn't cry a lot, because I knew he was in a better place. I cried more when he was in pain, than afterwards.
Hi Zim,

I think we cry for various reasons - for them and for ourselves.

When my father-in-law passed I cried for him because he would not see his 1st grandson. I cried for my husband and his mother and brothers & sisters for losing their father and husband, for my children who lost a grandfather, for my youngest son麓s hurt( it was his 1st death experiance.)

When my father passed I cried for not saying goodbuy, for not being there when he needed me, for an terrible emptyness I felt knowing I would never see/hear him again.
Then I cried for my mother and my son that lost his favaroute Oupa and cried all the way from Portugal to South Africa. I think I cried more for his hurt than anybody elses.

I think we cry because there is nothing else we can do!